Porn Addiction: A Moral Failing or a Mental Illness?
My Introduction to the Reality of Mental Illness
My first experience in the mental health field came during graduate school, while I was earning my master’s degree in counseling. I took a job as a behavioral health technician at a psychiatric hospital. If I had any lingering doubts about the reality of mental illness, they were quickly erased. Working in that environment, I encountered some of the most extreme expressions of psychological suffering. It became unmistakably clear that the individuals I was working with weren’t morally weaker or somehow inferior—they were sick.
One patient I remember vividly was a large man in his early 20s. I wasn’t entirely sure of his diagnosis, but he appeared to be on the autism spectrum and possibly had Down syndrome. The first time I met him, he eagerly showed me coloring pages of his favorite superheroes and pictures he had printed of his favorite rock band. He was friendly, gentle, and seemed like a big kid. I found myself wondering why he was placed in our unit, which was reserved for the most severe cases. Then one day, I found out.
Something had triggered him, and he suddenly became enraged, threatening to kill the staff. I later learned that he had previously made serious attempts to harm others, which is why he had been admitted. His behavior flipped like a switch. I remember him looking directly at me and yelling, “I like you! But don’t you mess with me!” The next day, he apologized profusely and returned to his usual kind demeanor.
During my time at the hospital, I witnessed people attempting to harm themselves or others on a regular basis. One of my responsibilities was to conduct “rounds”—walking through the unit every 15 minutes to document each patient’s behavior and ensure their safety. It felt invasive, but it was necessary to prevent injury or worse.
Many of the patients' conditions caused them to act out in harmful or disruptive ways. One older man with Lewy body dementia frequently tried to hit his aide during routine care. A woman with borderline personality disorder regularly screamed racial slurs at other patients. A man with schizophrenia would pace the halls all night, talking loudly to himself, keeping others awake. I can’t count how many patients suffered from night terrors—thrashing in their beds, screaming in their sleep. One young woman, who frequently ate inedible objects, once attacked me without warning while I was on rounds. She was about a hundred pounds lighter and a foot shorter than me, but her unpredictability was dangerous.
What I took from all this is that many forms of mental illness can lead to harmful or disturbing behavior—but these behaviors are not reflections of someone's character. The illness drives the behavior. I believe addiction belongs in this same category.
While I won’t get into the neuroscience and brain chemistry here (perhaps in another article), I’m convinced that pornography can be a true addiction. It has all the hallmarks—compulsion, repeated failed attempts to stop, escalating consequences, ritualization and losing sense of time, increased tolerance, and even withdrawal symptoms. Of course, porn addiction still causes harm, often to the people we care about most. But that doesn’t mean it’s a moral failing or a reflection of bad character.
Problem with just the moral perspective:
Imagine being diagnosed with diabetes and going to your pastor for help. Instead of medical advice or compassion, you’re told that you must have brought it on yourself. You’re instructed to pray harder, confess more often, and warned that your illness could put your soul at risk. Then, when you turn to social media for support, the message is the same: this is your fault, and you need to fix it through sheer effort and spiritual discipline.
It doesn’t take much imagination to see how this approach does not work and even leads to despair. If you are trying to manage your diabetes through spiritual discipline or sheer willpower then you are going to be disappointed over and over again because that is not what those practices do. They are not self-help!
If porn addiction is a mental illness like anxiety, depression, ADHD, etc then all the spiritual discipline in the world is not going to help you. In fact it often makes the problem worse. Approaching porn addiction like this leads to internalizing the belief that you are fundamentally broken and a failure as a person. This is the experience of many addicts. For some, that despair leads to suicide. Many people struggling with porn addiction reach a point where they feel completely hopeless.
One of the biggest turning points in recovery is when someone finally accepts that this is not just a character problem. It’s not just about willpower. It’s a mental and medical condition—one that requires strategy, support, and a long-term approach.
Conclusion
There’s a moral principle that says: “Ought implies can.” If you’re morally obligated to do something, you must also be capable of doing it.
Addiction erodes that capacity. In fact, this is largely how it is defined. In fact, the sheer effort it takes to “white knuckle” through an intense craving is often superhuman. The most effective form of recovery doesn’t rely on brute force in the moment—it focuses on the little daily choices, self-compassion, and connection to others. I think it would do every person struggling with porn addiction to remember this and take things a little easier.
